Broken
by x-ys4lyf-x
Summary: Kagome can't move on, while Inuyasha has. Kagome yearns for him and constantly reminisces about him. Foolishly texts him on a whim, hoping to rekindle their friendship/relationship. Discovers something unexpected about herself and debates about telling Inuyasha. How does it end? Not a happy ending. Slightly dark. Perhaps lemons. We'll see ;D rated for bad language for now.
1. Chapter 1

'Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice, shame on you.' She thought bitterly.

Once again, she had been a victim of the most self-absorbed man she thought she loved.  
Her thoughts plagued with his memory. Happier times. When they were still one.

'Just you and me against the world. Once upon a time.' Her tears threatened to spill.  
She didn't want to remember or reminisce, her heart would long and then hope would begin to build and her heart would be crushed again. No. It was too much pain for her.

She couldn't go through it. Not again.

"Kagome. Kagome! Earth to Kagome!" Sango yelled. "Anyone there? Knock knock."

Kagome snapped out of her trance and looked up at her best friend staring at her.  
"Huh? Sorry. I was just thinking. So where we going after this?" she tried her best to force a smile.

"You sure you're alright? Well…if you're up for it. We can do a bit of shopping and maybe catch a movie and head to a bar or club after?" Sango looked unsure.

"Yeah. Sounds great. Do we need to change for the club though?" Kagome bit her lip, it was a habit she didn't know she even had.

"Of course we do! We have to look our best!" Rin giggled. "We want all eyes on you!"

"Let's start by shopping for a new outfit for you, something that says I'm hot and you wish I was yours." Sango grinned. Shopping was her thing.

"Yeah sure, let's go." Kagome couldn't disagree, not when she could see her friends trying so hard to distract her from her own mind.

'I feel so alone. I'm never someone's priority. Forever their option. Sango has Miroku and Rin has Sesshomaru. They have their own lives to lead. Who do I have to be there for me when I just want a hug?' Kagome sighed.

Two hours later, Sango had found the perfect dress for Kagome, a dark blue halter neck. It was beautiful. Held together with a diamante encrusted snake just between the breasts, the material flowed down just above her knees. Kagome had tried it on and she couldn't believe her eyes. It really was the perfect dress from top to bottom; all she needed now was the heels to match.

"Damn Kagome! You look so hot! All eyes had better be on you tonight!" Rin squealed happily.

"Let's skip the movie and hit the bar first." Sango suggested. "We have to pick up your heels first and look all sexy for the club anyway."

"Alright, hi ho hi ho it's off to home we go!" Kagome sang.

"Bit more chirpy now aren't you?" Sango smiled.

"Well, how could I not be all crazy and hyper around you two?!" Kagome joked.  
'Weird. I'm suddenly so hyped up to go out. Probably just those two's influence.'

**Later, at the club.**

"Hey let's go dance! I think we've had enough to drink girls." Sango downed her shots quickly.

"Alright alright! I'm going! Where's the floor?" Kagome snapped back.

"Woah. Calm down Kagome, do you want to drink more?" Rin looked shocked.

"Oh fuck. Shit. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you guys." Kagome felt hot. Too hot.

"Come on, let's dance this alcohol away." Sango wasn't fazed by Kagome's moment of anger. 'Probably just the drinks talking.' She thought.

**10 minutes later.**

"Wheeeeeee! Let's bring the house down! Ooooh baby I like it when you touch me there-e-ere." Kagome was on cloud nine and it seemed like nothing could bring her out of her elated mood.  
'If only he was here, I would fuck his brains out right on this dance floor. Oh. He's with her now. I forgot.'

Kagome stopped moving her hips and made her way back to the bar.

"Hey, can I get 3 shots of vodka please?"

She looked onto the dance floor; it was just a blur of lights and limbs. None were her silver haired saviour. None were him.

The bartender gave her the shots. She downed them all, one after another. Her misery was slowly seeping into her mind and body again. Her body sagged, leaning against the bar; she tried hopelessly to keep herself up.

"That'll be £15 please miss." The bartender flashed her a huge smile.

Kagome reached into her bra and handed him a twenty. She was about to tell him to keep the change when her phone buzzed.

"WHERE ARE YOU?! I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU FOR THE PAST 20 MINUTES!" Sango was livid.

Kagome hung up. She stumbled out the club to get some fresh air.

'What am I doing here? There's no one like him. At least no one that knows me like he does.'

She was wallowing again. She hated this feeling. So desolate. So alone. So empty.

'He abandoned me. I'm such a mess without him.' She let the tears flow this time. They started out slow but soon were in full flow.

Sango and Rin finally found her, crouched in a corner looking as shattered as she felt inside.  
"She's still broken." Sango whispered.


	2. Chapter 2

'Ah fuck. My head is pounding! What the hell happened last night?' Kagome swore inwardly.  
She squinted as she tried to open her eyes fully. When she finally glanced at her surroundings, she leapt up abruptly. 'Wait. This isn't my room. Where the fuck am I?'

At that moment, someone knocked on the door.  
"Hey, I heard noises. Are you up?" a male voice asked.

'Who the fuck is that? Where's Sango and Rin at? I'm so confused.' Kagome moaned as her head began aching again.

"Hey guys, I think she's up. Sounds like she's got a killer hangover though!" she heard the voice yell.

Footsteps. Suddenly her door flew open and her two best friends jumped on her.

"Kagome! Are you alright? You scared us!" Rin cried.

"Yeah! You passed out and we didn't know what to do! So I called my friend Koga and got him to pick us up at the club. Lucky you didn't puke or anything in his car though! He would have a fit! You puked after though." Sango finished with a smug look on her face.

Kagome's head was still spinning as she tried to take in what her friends just said. She collapsed onto the carpet floor and just lay there waiting for the floor to stop moving. Then she spoke.

"So where are we again?" she questioned.

"My house!" Koga walked in with a grin. He seemed quite happy to have company over; his job required him to be working at ridiculous hours of the night so he had become quite the hermit. He hardly socialised anymore.

"Koga! Go back to cooking us breakfast! Let the poor girl rest." Sango teased him.

Koga pretended to sulk and pouted. "Hmph. Fine." He slowly plodded to the door taking deliberate heavy steps, making his presence known to all.

"Oh! Could you bring Kagome a glass of water as well please?" Rin's eyes twinkled.

"Yeah. Yeah. Sure. Would you like ice with that too?" he stopped walking and rolled his eyes at Rin.

"That would be lovely. Thanks darling." Rin laughed and blew him a kiss.

Koga disappeared down the corridor.

"Rin, stop taking the piss out of Koga. He was nice enough to let us crash at his you know." Sango was trying to keep a straight face.

"I know. I know. It's just fun. Anyways Kagome. How you feeling?" Remembering Kagome was still hung over from last night.

Kagome laughed. "I've had better days. My head's killing me. Any chance your friend Koga has painkillers?"

"I'll go have a look for you. So Miss I Don't Puke. How was puking?" Sango smirked at her friend.

"Don't look at me like that. You know I hardly drink now. I never said I don't puke. It's just rare. Clearly the alcohol isn't used to my vodka free body. It wanted out. Simple as that." Kagome stated with confidence.

Rin couldn't contain her glee. She burst out laughing like a hyena. "You made it sound so logical, like it was actually true!"

"Only Kagome could come out with something like that. Make it seem like it was actually genuine." Sango proclaimed with a chuckle.

At that moment, Koga strode back in with a tray of 4 plates of toast, egg, sausage, bacon, beans and last but not least, Kagome's glass of water.

"Breakfast guys! Well. Technically lunch…" he trailed off glancing at the clock on the wall that read 1:45pm. "Oh wells! It's brunch! Here's your water Kagome and your pills." He passed the glass to her smiling warmly at her.

"Thanks Koga and uh...thanks for letting me crash last night. Although I don't remember much. Sorry if I was any trouble." She looked down slightly embarrassed.

"Oh please! It was my pleasure! Escorting such beautiful young ladies such as yourselves to my home? Basking in your presence is an honour delightfully bestowed upon me for which I am eternally grateful for." He winked at her.

Kagome blushed and concentrated on the glass of water in her hand.

"Alright. Alright. Enough teasing the poor girl. Let her eat already." Sango picked up her cutlery.

"Bon appetite girls! Not YOU Sango!" he glared whilst picking up his fork. "YOU can watch US eat! Mwahahahaha! He cackled evilly.

Sango quickly picked up her plate and started munching away happily. Beaming at Koga with her mouth full of toast. "This is so nice Koga. Thanks SO much!"

"You're NOT welcome!" Koga grumbled.

After brunch, Sango cleared the dishes, Rin washed up and Kagome dried it all.

"Ah, my bitches! Thanks for cleaning up. Now where's my massage?" Koga joked.

"Just a second, MASTER KOGA." Sango mocked and purposely walked off and slouched onto his sofa with Rin joining her.

Koga gawked at her feigning shock and immediately stormed off making as much noise as he could to show his utter 'astonishment' at being defied.

Kagome was still in the kitchen, she felt much better after having some food lining her stomach again, she never understood why she drank when it made her feel worse.  
'I guess that's why I hardly drink now. I wonder why I never remember that you feel like shit the morning after. Alcohol solves nothing.' She reminded herself.

"Hey. How you doing?" Koga interrupted her thoughts.

"Great. I feel good thanks." She smiled encouragingly at him.

"That's cool. So what you girls doing now? Anything fun planned for today?" Koga asked out of curiosity. "Clubbing again? You girls are quite the party animals aren't you?"

"Nah, I doubt it. I'm still pretty wrecked from last night. Probably just go home, shower and probably K.O in bed. Again. My bed this time. Not yours." She emphasized, still slightly horrified she spent a night in his home without recalling anything of the night.  
'Why can't I remember anything? That's crazy. I usually remember every little detail when I'm drunk.'

"You're welcome anytime Kagome. Well, if anything, be sure to invite me out next time. I'd love to come out with you girls." Koga looked deep into her eyes.

"Sure. Next time, Koga." Kagome smiled at him sincerely. "Thanks again by the way."

"I told you it's fine. Now go join those lazy bitches of mine that show me NO respect whatsoever." He shouted so they could hear him.

Kagome laughed and rushed off to join her friends. She saw them lazing about flicking through the channels of his TV.

"Well aren't you guys comfortable?" Kagome asked with a grin.

"Of course we are! Why don't you join us?" Rin loudly exclaimed.

"Yeah! What'd you feel like watching Kagome?" Sango chimed in.

"Seriously guys? We're gonna just abuse the poor guy's hospitality and inflict him with the craziness of our demented selves? Don't you guys have to go home or anything?" Kagome hinted.

"HEY! Don't say it like that Kags! We're family here. Me and Koga are like best friends. We go wayyyyyyyy back, back when we were annoying little teens!" Sango objected with an expertly timed pout.

"Yeah baby! The terrible twins! That's us!" Koga interjected with obvious mockery. "Sango abuses me all the time but I know it's only cause she loves me SOOOOOOO much. I just humour her cause I know I'm more awesome than her!"

Sango jumped up and smacked Koga with a cushion. "That's what YOU think, you sad, strange little child."

Koga swiped the cushion from her and slapped her back on the head. "Take that, you munchkin!"

Sango grabbed another cushion and whacked it on his arm but Koga managed to get her back on her head again. "Hey! I'm losing brain cells here!" she moaned.

"Alright, KIDS. Enough childish behaviour." Kagome tried to end their little tiff.

Koga stuck his tongue out at Sango. "Hey! I saw that Koga! Go sit in the corner!" Kagome had become the authoritative figure all of a sudden.

Koga proceeded to trudge there, sulking and making faces as he went. "This isn't fair." He muttered.

Sango had to sit in the opposite corner; both were making faces at each other from across the room still.  
'Wonder why Kagome was so snappy all of a sudden. It was just a bit of harmless fun.'

'Honestly, they're such big kids.' Rin thought shaking her head.

* * *

After their "time-out" and getting severely scolded by Kagome again. They left Koga's house, the distance to Kagome's house was surprisingly short. Koga actually lived just a few blocks away from her.

"So what'd you think of Koga, Kags?" Sango's eyes twinkled with mischief.

"He seems alright? How come I've never heard his name mentioned before?" Kagome was puzzled. She and Sango had been best friends for quite a few years, practically inseparable yet she had never heard of him until today.

"Oh. That's cause sometimes we lose touch and then we talk again. We have these phases where we'll talk almost every day then we'll stop for ages. The cycle continues." Sango shrugged.

"Shit happens." Rin said simply.

"Yeah. I can understand that." Kagome began to drift away from the conversation.

**Flashback.**

_"What's wrong with you?" Kagome cried._

_"Let's see, shall we?! First of all, my fucking girlfriend doesn't come to see me. She doesn't even want me at her fucking birthday so she can flirt with that bastard Hojo without me cramping her style! My girlfriend doesn't want to get fucked by me so she can suck that prick instead!" Inuyasha ranted. He was irate. His eyes were fierce and burning red. He was pacing up and down like a caged animal._

_Kagome's eyes watered. "What the fuck?! Hojo organised my birthday! It doesn't mean I want to sleep with him! I did want you there! But you didn't want to go that's all..." she trailed off. "My own boyfriend didn't even WISH me happy birthday and you think that I'll actually sleep with Hojo? Are you out of your fucking mind?"_

_"Hey you asked. Don't ask when you don't want to know, alright?! What's the point of having a girlfriend when she doesn't even want to see me or get fucked by me? It's like I'm single all over again! That bastard wants you and you still go see him!" Inuyasha raged._

_"My friends were there! It's not like he was going to DO anything to me. I know I'm taken!" Kagome was furious with him. How could he still doubt her? After all she did. She did everything he wanted yet he still didn't trust her._

_'What happened to you, Inu? What did your previous partners do to you that made you so distrustful?'_

_"I'm meant to be your fucking man! You're meant to be with me, not your friends!" He was still fuming._

_She looked at him and then it became crystal clear to her. Her eyes were shimmering but she didn't care. She said what she had to. "You only want me when someone else does. Don't you?"_

_He blinked. Shocked. His eyes told her it was true. He never wanted her for her. He just loved the idea of her. Someone else wanted her so he MUST have her so no one else can._

_"I'm sorry. I shouldn't be that selfish."_

_"No. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said yes to you in the first place." Kagome looked solemn._

_This wasn't the first time they had broken up but it was certainly the last._

**Flashback ends.**

Kagome stared at the pavement, she didn't want to think about him but these thoughts haunted her in her every waking moment.  
'I hate these periods I have when I remember him. Why can't I just stop remembering? These memories are such bullshit. He was a total asshole.'

"Kagome, you alright? You've been a bit quiet." Rin was concerned.

"Yeah. I'm fine! I'm great. You guys feel like doing anything later?" Kagome answered happily.

"Actually. I was thinking about seeing Sesshy tonight..." Rin shuffled awkwardly by her side.

"Oh. Okay. That's cool. How about you Sango? Any plans?" Kagome turned to her other friend.

"Um…sorry Kagome. Miroku's coming over to mine later." Sango looked apologetic.

"It's fine. You guys got boyfriends. I understand. I'll just go eat a tub of ice cream and watch some movies and look depressed." Kagome laughed at her friends' expressions. "I'm just kidding guys! Nah but I might relax though. Last night took a lot out of me. I'm exhausted!"

Kagome gave them her most reassuring smile and convinced them she'll be alright. "Have fun ladies! You know what I mean!" she winked at them both.

Home at last, she showered quickly and sank into her favourite chair, turned her laptop on and began mindlessly tapping away. An image popped up on her screen. A beautiful pure white husky puppy with golden eyes. She was reminded. Yet again.

'Why did your feelings have to disappear Inu? It was perfect. You were perfect. Why couldn't I have been your priority? Your number one? Now? You've tossed me aside. I'm so lost. Come back to me please.' She cried silent tears. Her anguish was heard by no one. Her heart ripping into two. Shredding into tiny pieces. Hardly existing any longer.

The room darkened as the moon began to appear. All noise ceased except for the humming of her laptop. Her phone buzzed.

Kagome was fast asleep, her head resting on the arm of the chair, her laptop still glowing brightly with the image of the puppy. She stirred slightly when she heard her phone vibrate. She didn't wake, images of a silver haired knight on a handsome white stallion flitted in and out of her dreams chasing away her nightmares. Her body relaxed and she sighed in content.

-_Hey beautiful. I know it's late but guess who?_-


	3. Chapter 3

"Morning dear. How did you sleep? You must have been fairly worn-out to just conk out here." Kagome's mother smiled at her.

Kagome rubbed her eyes and blinked several times for her vision to focus. "Yeah mom. Pretty dead. I'm gonna head to my bed now." She got up grudgingly and made her way to her room; she climbed into her bed covers and fell asleep again. 'Now what was I dreaming about..?'

"_Inuyasha! What are you doing here?" Kagome was so confused._

"_Hey baby, what else would I be here for?" He raised his eyebrows and grinned wickedly._

"_Um...um...what?!" She stammered._

_Inuyasha took a step towards her. Kagome stepped back and fell onto her bed._

"_Come on babe. You know what I want." He drawled out, his voice full of lust. "Strip."_

_That one word brought it all back. His voice so full of authority, she couldn't help but obey. One of her weaknesses. She could feel herself start to ache; she loved it when he was in control._

_She removed her clothing swiftly leaving only her bra and knickers. She watched him with hungry eyes as he slowly unbuttoned his shirt, leaving his black vest and when he unbuckled his jeans, she nearly jumped him herself. She could see his bulge; it wanted to be released from its tight constraints. He moved closer to her until he was hovering above her. She looked into his eyes with such trust and his eyes shone with love for her._

"_I love you baby…" he murmured against her neck, kissing and sucking onto her ear lobe, leaving little bruises of desire all over her. His hands began their agonising torture on her breasts; he squeezed it hard causing her to moan in a mix of pain and pleasure._

"_Take it off." She fumbled for the hook at the back, undoing it and detaching her bra. He threw her bra behind him and started sucking her breast greedily while caressing the other; he pulled and stretched the nipple making it elongate and hard._

_Her hands found his package, she put her hand in his boxers and stroked up and down, her body temperature was rising. Finally he was satisfied with her nipples and began stroking her in between her legs; he slipped a finger inside her._

"_You're always so wet. Such a horny girl." He smirked at her._

_She blushed. "Only for you Inu."_

"_That's right, you're MINE." He massaged her clitoris in circles with his hand, making her arch her back as she felt ripples of pleasure. She wanted more. She needed more._

_He carried on fondling her and slipped two fingers inside her, he began pumping it in and out of her, faster and faster. He kept adding more fingers; soon his whole hand was inside her._

"_Fuckk…Oh fuck..." She gasped._

_Taking out his hand, he wiped her juices onto the bed. He knew what she wanted; he took his dick out of his boxers and rubbed it against her knickers._

"_Fuck me, Inu. I need you inside me." She was eager for him to continue._

_He moved her knickers to the side and slid the tip in; he took it back out and continued to torment her._

"_Are you just gonna tease me with your dick all night?" She was getting frustrated. She had needs only he could fulfil._

"_Beg me." He waited with a grin._

"_Can you fuck me already? Please?" She couldn't take it much longer._

"_That's not begging." He slid the head in and took it out again._

"_Please fuck me baby. I love your big hard dick in me. Pretty please?" She gave him her puppy dog eyes._

_He loved making her beg for the gratification only he could give her. He thrust his dick inside her so hard; her body trembled from the assault. He fucked her hard and fast, she bucked up against him at every thrust. Her hands pushing his buttocks into her. She loved it harder, faster, and deeper. She was in heaven. His hand travelled to her clitoris and stroked it ferociously, he wanted her to cum. He could feel the difference. She was tightening around his cock. She was close. So close. Her eyes were rolling to the back of her head. She needed her release soon. Just as she was about to reach her peak…_

RING RING

Kagome woke up and mentally groaned.  
'Damn. That was one hell of a dream. He always knew how I liked it.' She couldn't help but feel disappointed that he was never going to be there anymore.

RING RING

"Who's calling at this time?! I'm not usually this popular." Kagome muttered. She padded out her room and headed towards the phone. It stopped ringing just as she touched it.

'Oh for fucks sake! The bastard timed it perfectly.' She proceeded to the bathroom to prepare herself for the day ahead. Her bathroom routine was interrupted yet again by the shrill tones of the house phone. 'I'm not picking it up! I don't care if they're dying!' she thought sulkily with a mouth full of foam.

RING RING

Kagome continued brushing her teeth, ignoring the caller. 'I don't careee. Laa Laa Laaaaa. Brush brush brush, swish swish swish.' She beamed at her reflection in the mirror. The phone was silent.  
"YAY! Peace at last!" she skipped with glee.

Reaching for her iPhone, she checked it quickly, 2 missed calls and 5 texts. 'Huhh...I wonder who's eager to find me today.'  
"Sango, Sango, Sango, Rin, Mom, Rin and...Who's this?" she pondered out loud. "Best call back Sango and Rin first…"

**20 minutes later.**

"Jeez Sango! Get off the phone already. I'm fine! Just knackered that's all. I couldn't be bothered to get up or pick up the house phone." Kagome explained. "Yes. Fine. I will see you tomorrow. Maybe. We'll see how I feel…I like being a bum! See ya!" she giggled and hung up.

Kagome read the text again; it was a number she didn't recognise. She proceeded to reply.

-_Who's this? =/_ -

'Could it be..? No. Of course not. Why would he text me…he's happy now. Without me.' She couldn't help but feel disheartened by that fact. 'I guess he never did care for me the way I did him. I was never good enough for him in his eyes. Sigh. I wish it didn't hurt this bad. My heart's aching again…I doubt he even realises how much pain he's caused me. It's like my heart is tearing apart. Like a million needles fighting to escape my heart. It hurts physically. Inside. Fuck. Why won't it stop? Why won't it end, this pain is too much for me to take. Sometimes…I just wish I could end it. Myself. Free myself from all this heartache and the sorrow I feel. If I could only forget it all. The memories. Him…' she closed her eyes momentarily.

It was just wishful thinking. How can you extract memories from deep within your heart?

Her iPhone sounded its world famous tri-tone jingle.  
"I've been meaning to change that annoying tone." Kagome muttered.

-_How could you forget? It's your knight in shining armour princess ;P_ –

'Oh. Either I'm going crazy or it's really him texting me…' she was baffled.  
-_Hey…why are you texting me? =S_ -

-_Just making sure you're okay. Can I not text you? =/_ -

-_Um…I guess so._ -  
Kagome was beyond befuddled now. 'What does he want?'

-_You sound so enthusiastic. What's biting ya princess?_ -

-_Nothing. Sorry. It's just I didn't expect you to text me._ -  
'Why would you…?' she thought sadly.

-_You said you'll call me to hang out so of course I want to make sure you don't go back on your word! =D_ –

'Huh? When did I say that? Oh. Wait. Oh my god. It's Koga?!' her eyes widened in surprise. The possibility it was anyone other than her beloved hadn't even crossed her mind. 'Damn. They seem so similar. Fuck's sake! Why'd he have to sound like him?' she mentally cursed.  
-_Oh. Sorry. Koga. Course I will =) How did you get my number?_ -  
'Don't tell me Sango gave it to him…matchmaking again. Sigh.'

-_Uh…well. A little birdy told me?_ –

-_A birdy? Sango?_ -  
'Jeez! I'm not desperate. Why did she have to interfere?'

-_Not exactly? =] I may have taken it from her phone contacts… hehe._ -

'He STOLE my number?' Kagome's eyes went huge. 'Oh gosh. Sorry Sango.'  
-_Why did you do that? I hardly know you?_ -

- _*shrugs shoulders* I wanted to get to know you better =D you seem pretty cool…_ -

'I can't believe this guy…I guess making another friend isn't TOO bad…right?'  
-_I must be for you to go to such lengths ;D_ -

Koga smiled. 'She's quite fun to talk to…maybe this will be a beginning of something.'

* * *

Soon, Koga and Kagome were practically inseparable. They had lunch together whenever they were free, they went to clubs and bars, dancing and drinking with one another. Koga felt comfortable around Kagome. They spoke about everything and anything. Koga confided in Kagome about his fears of being alone. He was glad he had her to socialise with and he told her so.

"Kagome. I feel like you're my closest friend right now. I'm very comfortable and relaxed talking to you about everything." Koga looked deep into her eyes. "Do you feel the same?"

Kagome could see he meant it. "Thanks Koga but if I'm honest, I'm not as comfortable as you are. Sorry. I still have to think about every word I say to you before I say it. It's not like with Sango or Rin where I don't think at all and it just comes out of my mouth." She glanced at him and saw a trace of hurt in his eyes. She felt horrible for saying such true feelings but she didn't want to lie to him. She had grown close to him in a matter of weeks but she didn't know how to trust anymore.

"It's alright, Kagome. I understand. They've known you longer. It makes sense." Koga nodded his understanding. "So what are you planning for the future?"

"Truthfully? I've adopted a kind of mantra now. It's not really how I feel but in my head. It tells me this: It doesn't matter anymore…Nothing matters." She shrugged with indifference. "It's what my head tells me. Probably my subconscious."

"You don't honestly believe that do you? If you find a job, something you love doing, it'll bring more meaning to your life. Give you purpose again. Find your dream." Koga was determined for her to not despair.

"It doesn't matter if I have a job or not. I could die tomorrow." She looked wistfully into the distance.

"But then you do nothing? Why don't you DO something about it? Your mentality in this matter is stopping you." Koga urged her.

"But don't you see? It doesn't matter. I can do whatever I want. I could go for a joyride, I could rob a bank or I could paint the town red. Consequences mean nothing to me because it doesn't matter." She wanted him to see her way, her thinking.

"I can see how it can be good but why do you think like this? What happened?" Koga asked desperately.

"Things happen to you, you change. Not because you want to but because you have to. That's just life. It's a part of growing up. Shit happens so you turn shitty." She said casually.

"I don't know what happened to you. I can't begin to understand, I'm sure but I want to help you. Anything you need. I can help. Talk to me? Tell me about it. Please, I want to understand." Koga was becoming emotional and close to tears.

"I don't want to talk about it. I've had so much shit happen to me my whole life. I don't want to remember any of it. Sorry." Kagome's eyes started to water.  
'I can't cry. I can't. He doesn't know just how much I've been through. Every person reacts differently to my life story. I don't want to bring it up anymore.'

"I wish I could help…" Koga began.

"You can. By not talking about me anymore. Please. Let's talk about anything. Something else." Kagome pleaded him, tears springing to her eyes.

"Okay. Sorry for bringing back bad memories for you. So I want to move out soon. Somewhere more snazzy? I'm thinking about getting a dog too." He grinned. "I love dogs."

"Oh? Me too! I've always wanted one!" Kagome's mood was instantly lifted. Her favourite subject. Dogs. "What breed do you want?"

"Me? Oh…I like Pomeranians? You know Boo? The dog that got a haircut?" Koga looked at her questioningly.

"Oh my god! I love him! He's so adorable! Seriously? That's the kind of dog you'll get?" She raised an eyebrow.

"YES! What's wrong with that?" He asked defensively.

"Well…it's a fluffy breed. I highly doubt a lot of GUYS own that breed…" She emphasized on the word.

"Alright then, what kind of dog would you get if you were me then?" he questioned her. "Don't tell me a pit bull or one of those breeds." He rolled his eyes.

Kagome bit her lip while thinking. She disliked being put on the spot. "Hm…well. I personally LOVE huskies! They're awesome! They shed a lot but I guess if you look after them and love them, you wouldn't mind? They're so beautiful as well. I've always wanted one with blue eyes. You'll just get lost in them. I think I'll be quite bad with training the puppy though…I'll love them too much and they'll get away with everything. Oh actually, I remember an article about a husky and staff being bred together and their litters have the husky's looks but no fur shedding? I don't know if it's true though…huskies are quite big and expensive as well..." she was rambling now.

'Pringles. Once you pop you can't stop. Kagome the human equivalent.' Koga chuckled.  
"I'm sorry to stop you. I love listening to you talk and your voice of course. Don't get me wrong but I just keep looking at your lips…I want to kiss you. Can I kiss you?"

"Wha...What?" Kagome had stopped talking.

"Can I kiss you?" Koga repeated.


	4. Chapter 4

"No."

"I don't want to kiss you to lead up to other things. I just want to kiss you Kagome. It's just…I miss that feeling. When you kiss someone…you experience that closeness with each other." Koga explained. Kagome could see he was vulnerable. He had exposed himself to her fully but she couldn't bring herself to be that close to him.

"I'm sorry. I can't." She didn't look at him. The room was tense and Kagome started to feel uncomfortable. She nervously rubbed her hands. She felt trapped. She wanted to leave and escape this feeling.

"Sorry, I've made this awkward now, haven't I?" Koga laughed lightly.

"It's alright." She said softly.

'I need to get out of here.'

He regarded her carefully then spoke. "You know Sango invited me to some clubbing event…you going to it?"

"Um…yeah. Not sure what I'm wearing to it though. Everyone's saying it's very formal. Black tie and all that." She laughed. "Not like we're going anywhere amazing. It's just a club."

"Guess I have to bring out the shirts and ties." He rolled his eyes and grinned.

* * *

The night of the event finally drew near.

Kagome was dressed in pure white, it was a one shouldered dress with diamantes sparkling along her waist, on her feet were open toed silver buckled heels that complimented her outfit nicely. Sango wore a red halter neck dress that showed off her curves, finishing her look with a pair of black Louboutin heels. Rin however was wearing a purple lacy dress which ended above her knees but the back flowed til just below the calf. They were all excited to dress up and couldn't wait for the night to begin.

Among their friends were Miroku, Sesshomaru, Koga, Shippo, Bankotsu, Jakotsu, Ayame, Kirara and Kagura. All were dressed as excessively as possibly. Dress codes were there to make the guests look pretty but weren't always as practical. The guys especially disliked this 'penguin' code; they however loved the view of all the stunning ladies in dresses. Their eyes were lingering over each one, taking in the sight of every beauty.

"I can't wait to go dance!" Rin was enthusiastic. It had been a long time since all their friends had gone out together and she loved dancing!

"Pour me some vodka, I'm sober." Sango said dryly. They had been waiting in the queue for some time and all the alcohol had worn off.

"I'm sure it won't be long now…"Kagome bit her lip.

When they stepped into the club, the interior was astonishing. The ceilings were so high and pillars embellished every doorway which was carved so tastefully, the doors held such intricate designs rimmed with gold, the floors were varnished and reflected lights everywhere.

'It's beautiful.' Kagome was speechless. 'This looks like the kind of place they do ballroom dancing, not RnB and hip hop.'

"Pretty decent, right?" Koga distracting Kagome from her awe.

"It's nice. Not our kind of scene." She replied evenly.

'Definitely not MY kind of scene.'

"Yeah…it's a bit over the top." He looked around.

"HEY! There you are! This place is BIG huh? Everyone keeps getting separated!" Sango complained. "Oh. Koga. This is Ayame by the way." Sango gestured to the redhead beauty next to her. "Ayame. This is Koga. He's pretty awesome." She winked.

"Hey. How you doing? What'd you think of this place? Pretty cool right?" Koga asked Ayame, his eyes lighting up.

"Um...yeah. It's not bad." She smiled timidly at him.

Sango was talking to Kagome, not realising she wasn't into the whole clubbing atmosphere. "Kagome, let's go get some drinks! Come on!" Sango grabbed her hand and ran off.

Kagome was dragged to the bar. She looked around the sea of people and saw Koga and Ayame, they were deep in conversation. She couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealousy. 'I don't want to be here.'

"Hey Kagome! Snap out of it. We're at a party!" Bankotsu joked as he came up behind her.

"Bankotsu! You had enough to drink yet?" Sango was fuming. "This place is a joke. Look at these prices. Their alcohol's the cheap stuff as well!"

Kagome laughed. "So true." Her eyes scanned the price list. "I mean, this isn't even Grey Goose or Smirnoff vodka. It's Chekov!"

"The others went to the pub opposite the club." Bankotsu said slyly. "We're stamped so we can just say we're having a cigarette."

"That's a great idea! Let's go!" Sango practically flew to the exit.

"I'm going to stay here." Kagome said to Bankotsu. "I didn't pay £20 to get in and not be here half the night." She wandered off to find her other friends. "Catch you later Bankotsu."

Bankotsu shrugged and headed to the pub. "See ya."

* * *

A few hours later, Kagome was dancing with Kagura and Kirara on the platform. They had been separated from everyone for a while.

"Should we go find them?" Kagura shouted over the music.

"No! Let's just enjoy the music. We'll find everyone later!" Kagome replied. Her feet were aching. "Let's go sit for a while. I need a break."

She got off the platform, slightly shaky. Her friends followed. They found a table and some chairs. They slumped down immediately.

"Damn. I'm exhausted!" Kagura chuckled, still moving to the music.

"Really? I had no idea!" Kirara looked at her in mock surprise.

Kagome laughed at them, this reunion with her friends had been long overdue. She missed them; it had been a long time since she had gone out with any of them. 'Why can't I be like this more often? Just hang out with my friends more.' She sighed. She missed the old her. The one that was confident and spontaneous. She had neglected her friends for so long that she couldn't remember how to be so lively again. She didn't have it in her anymore.

The fire alarm suddenly went off and Kagome was snapped out of her thoughts. "What's going on?"

Bankotsu appeared. "Hey, I'm going to try grab my stuff from the cloakroom. Give me your ticket Kagome." He hurried off.

"Should we be getting our stuff when there's a fire?" Kagome was worried. "Maybe we should just leave." Everyone was rushing to get out of the club; people were pushing and running out. In the midst of all the chaos, Kagome was separated from her friends. She didn't know where to go or what to do. 'My phone! Shit. Who's got my phone! Oh fuck!' Her mind was spiralling. 'Bankotsu! He's got it! I gave it to him, I'm sure I did. Please have it.'

"Kagome! Over here!" Kagome looked up. She was relieved to see Jakotsu, she ran towards him.

"Oh thank god. Where's everyone else Jakotsu?"

"Getting their stuff from the cloakroom. Aren't you cold Kagome?" Jakotsu looked concerned; he took off his blazer and put it on her.

"Oh. Thanks Jakotsu. Aren't you cold though?" She bit her lip anxiously.

"I'm fine, Kagome. I'm a man." Jakotsu puffed out his chest and laughed.

Bankotsu jogged up to them, breathless. His hands empty. "Kagome. I'm sorry. The aisles were empty. Someone's taken our things. People were jumping over the counter and helping themselves. So I jumped and took two coats too. Dickheads stealing my shit." Bankotsu was pissed off.

Kagome was in shock. "No fucking way. Who the hell would steal my shit? I don't even have cash in there! Who's gonna steal a coat for fucks sake?!" She was so frustrated.

"Dickheads." Bankotsu answered.

Kagome walked up and down, scrutinizing every person she saw. Looking for her coat, her bag. Any sign and she would march up to them and take back her things. She was in such a raw mood. The littlest thing would set her off. 'Fucking assholes. When I find them, they're fucking dead. The bastards.' She still couldn't believe a night out had turned into such a nightmare. 'Who would do this? Oh god. I'm so glad I didn't leave my iPod in there. Oh thank god I left it at Sango's. Oh my god. Oh my god. My keys. My purse.' She was despairing with every moment. 'Please let it still be in the cloakroom.'

"Kagome. Hey. They're letting people back in to get their stuff now, come on." Koga suddenly appeared beside her. Kagome nodded and just followed him. 'I hope my stuff's still there.'

"Oh Kagome. Here. In case my jacket's still inside." Bankotsu handed her his ticket.

"Alright. I'll check for you." She smiled. "Oh wait, do you have my phone?" She bit her lip worriedly.

"Yeah I do. Do you need it now?" Bankotsu lit a cigarette and looked up at her.

"Please. In case I get separated again." She nervously laughed.

'I need my things. What am I gonna do if it's not there. Oh god.'

Kagome thanked Bankotsu and hurried into the crowd that was pushing themselves into the one door entrance. Security were locking the door in between groups, ensuring crowd control.

"Hey Kagome. When they open the door, just hold onto me. We'll charge inside." Koga winked.

Kagome grinned at him. 'He's so crazy. Silly boy.'

The doors opened but just as they reached the front. It was shut. Again.

'God. This is torture. I just wanna go home.' Kagome felt defeated.

Finally, the doors opened. They reached the counter.

"I've got two." Kagome gave the woman her first ticket. She watched the woman search high and low, totally clueless as to the whereabouts of her belongings. Kagome began vaguely scanning the area until her eyes rested on a cream and black bag. 'Oh my god. That's mine!'

"Um…excuse me? Hello? That's my bag there." Kagome tried desperately to get the woman's attention. "Hello? Hey!" The woman's eyes focused on her at last.

Kagome gestured to the bag on the floor. "That bag is mine." The woman passed it to her. "Thanks. Uh…I've got a coat too. Do you see a coat anywhere? Beige and puffy?" The woman looked clueless until Kagome's eyes landed onto her coat and motioned again.

Kagome was feeling exasperated by this useless person. 'God. Could she be any slower? I still have one more ticket!' She hastily gave her the second ticket anticipating the same slow service; however, this time she produced two jackets. Kagome's eyes widened. 'Oh fuck. What the hell was Bankotsu wearing…' The woman looked at her expectantly. "Um…I guess this one. Thanks." Kagome took it and walked towards the exit.

Koga was waiting for her. "Hey. Did you get your stuff?"

"Yeah. Does this look like Bankotsu's? I have no idea." She looked uneasy.

Koga looked it over and nodded. "Looks about right. Not sure about the scarf though…"

"I guess free scarf then?" Kagome replied unsure.

Koga just laughed at her. He walked towards the door and soon they were on the main street.

"Oh fuck, I can't walk any longer." Kagome groaned.

"Do you want me to hold your stuff?" Koga asked with consideration.

"No. Thanks. It's just…I don't want it out of my sight now." Kagome answered.

'I can't let anyone handle my things. I just can't.' Paranoia was settling into her mind, feasting on her fear. She knew it was irrational to be so afraid for Koga to help her but she had never experienced that sort of distress while out before.

"Alright. I'll go get the others then…are you gonna be okay here?" Koga looked at her hesitantly.

"I'll be fine. Go." Kagome's hands clenched tightly around her belongings. She didn't put her coat on in fear of when she placed her bag down, it would disappear. 'What's wrong with me? Why do I feel so scared? What the fuck? I need to get a grip!' She shook her head absentmindedly.

* * *

A week had passed since the fire incident at the club; Kagome didn't feel safe being outside anymore. She had been cooped up in her room for days.

'God I need to get out of this room. I don't really want to though.'

She had been sleeping at ridiculous hours and waking up a few hours later, full of energy but she never stepped foot outside of her room. 'I should eat. I'm not hungry. That's the way to gain weight, Kagome. Slippery slope. Eating when you're not hungry.' She mentally rolled her eyes.

-Get out of your bed! –

'No. I don't want to.' She thought irritably.

-What'd you want? –

-It's 4 in the afternoon! Move! We're going out! –

'This boy is relentless.' She growled.

-NO! I'm not going anywhere KOGA. –

Kagome turned her phone on mute and left it on her bed. She didn't want to do anything, much less go outside. Her stomach growled. 'Note to self: Feed the stomach.' She hurriedly brushed her teeth and combed her hair, looking halfway decent, she went to the kitchen in search of brunch. Her eyes skimmed through the fridge, looking up and down the shelves. "There's nothing good to eat." She complained out loud. 'I feel like eating chocolate.' Just as she thought it, she began scouring the cupboards and drawers to find any signs of the cocoa delight.

"Aha!" She said triumphantly whilst holding the bag of Lindt chocolate. "Found ya!" She gleefully skipped towards the living room and turned on the TV while devouring the chocolates one by one.

'Mission accomplished.'

KNOCK KNOCK

"Oh for fucks sake. Who is it now?" Kagome grumbled as she rolled off the sofa reluctantly.


End file.
